I really wish

I am still wishing that duckie and I can still be together without any problems. Why can't two lovers can't get together like other couples?

this is not fair....
not at all...

I didn't do anything.

I just want to love a person. Is that something people shouldn't do?

Maybe I am not good enough, or maybe people shouldn't even love each other...

Happy new year!

Happy new year to myself...weee...happy new year to myself..weeee!

nice that i am basically alone today...but anyway, wee...!

I talked to Peter, and he almost made me burst out laughing like crazy....weird him..haha

soo want to talk to duckie, but he wasn't here....oh well...

*waiting for dinner*

want to watch some tv......

I love duckie

I just sent out approximately 25 greetings to my Chinese friends, and people who care about the Chinese culture. It wasn't that fun copying e-mail addresses from my MSN contact list, as I had to copy back and forth from my internet browser and my MSN window.

I was happy to get some replies from my friends though. Maybe it's not something really interesting, but at least I can show them that I care about them.

Happy Chinese new year!

Anyway, it sounds like duckie and I are back to our regular relationship. We still don't know how to solve the problem yet, but I guess we will work on it.

I really love him, and I will love him more with my heart. And, of course, I will value him more.

I don't know

I don't know if I can continue to love duckie anymore. To me, duckie is really important, and I really hope I can be with him, but then, he doesn't even want to do a thing to solve a problem... What can I do?

I said I would wait for him, but how long will he do before he recovers again? Nobody knows....maybe, by the time he is recovered, my depression cannot be recovered. I don't want to continue with this anymore. If there is no way this can be solved, why do I have to continue with this hopeless relationship?

I really love duckie. I really love him.
I don't know what I should do. I really hope I can find out the answer soon.

These 3 weeks are killing me.

Happy birthday!

First of all, I wish my dad a happy birthday. I know today is a work today, but I hope he will enjoy the time.

Anyway, I just found out that my dad doesn't have to work tomorrow! I wish I can go with my parents. hahaa....my dad said he will bring my mom to go out for shopping. wee....honey moon for them =P

Well, I didn't write anything yesterday. I wasn't in a mood to write a thing, and I was really busy anyway.

Today, however, I plan to write something. Well, it's really really boring things, but I want to keep myself alive by communicating with at least something.

Well, today, I was really really sleepy, especially in the ECON tutorial. I still couldn't really understand what she was explaining, but oh well..at least I got something from her writings. hahaa..

After tutorial, I went to the library to use the computer. I was wanting to finish some parts of the CMPT assignment, so I wrote something, and sent it to my group partner. After that, I was pretty much checking e-mails, talking in MSN, etc.

ECON lecture....made me so sleepy. It's not because of the content, but of the length of the lecture, and after that, I had to attend another tutorial, which made me soo tired. Luckily, I got myself awake from a walk before I went home.

+++++

Emotionally, I still feel really bad...but physically, I feel a lot better. Luckily, I always recover fast. If only I exercise a bit more, maybe my body can be a lot better. hahaa

These days, I feel really upset. The only thing that made me a bit happier is by talking to people in MSN (usually my group partner), and by working on my work and forget about how I feel. I will still support duckie...and I really hope he can recover soon.

What can I do?

Duckie told me that if I decide to leave him, he will stay strong, and live on, and hopefully, he will do something great to the world.
Honestly, I am happy for him, that he can take care of himself, and at least, I know that he will not hurt himself anymore.
However, that also tells me that he doesn't value me that much anymore.

I really love him. I don't know what to do. Is that the end of our relationship, after 1.3 years?

I don't want to lose him. I really wish he can value me a lot more.

What can I do?

I guess I will do that too. I have to keep working, and I know that, if I leave him, I will be happy. Perhaps, someone else will value me more. ^^

I don't know if he loves me anymore

Since he came back for me, I don't feel that he loves me anymore. Maybe it's the words that he said when we were having a big problem. He kept telling me that he doesn't know if he will love me anymore. He didn't want to hug me, kiss me, or say "i love you forever" to me. At that time, I felt that I had lost a boyfriend already.

Now...he is back, but still, he had never hugged me, or kissed me, or say "I love you forever" in front of me.

Does he love me?
I feel so sad everyday, while wishing that he will love me more.

I tried to hug him today, and kiss his cheek, but he never responded to me. I felt so painful, then I started to cry behind him. I just want to know that he really loves me; why is this that hard?

I wonder....