New Site

Please visit http://www.annielo.ca/ for the new blog entries!

Change to my site

Hi everyone...

I had been using this blog since early 2006.  In these few years, I kept updating this site in a regular basis.  From time to time, I will change the appearance of the whole site to give readers a more refreshing look.

A few days ago, I decided to make a complete change to my blog.  Instead of using Blogger from Google, I decided to host my blog under my own domain (annielo.ca).  Since I already have my own site, I will merge my blog with my personal site so that everything is in one central location.

I have finally figured out how to export all my entries to my new site, which I will show you a bit later.  I had tried to do the import provided by Wordpress, but it didn't work, so I tried using an online too, but my XML file is much bigger than its limit, which is 1MB, so I downloaded the script and executed it on my computer.  I even downloaded Python so it can run the script.  I also edited the XML file manually so that I can import it to my database.  Ahhhh...such a hassle, but at least I got everything imported.

I will show you later.  After that site is completed, this site will be taken down.  All you have to do is to go to my personal site.  ^^

I don't think I can import my blog entries from Spymac, Xanga, and Space, so I guess I will just keep a link in my new site.

As for my old Joomla! site, I guess I will take it down.  I don't think it really suits me as my main update is my blog entries.  I still have my Joomla! site working, since I merged two databases into one, but I might have to remove it later.

I will keep you updated.

thank you~

請講

是是非非真假
原來相當可怕
如甜夢 全是哄騙話 真相被遺下

話若可分真假
情難修飾欺詐
柔情話 誠實欠了吧 一切是廢話

想想你不會傷
想你不要傷
想你不再受傷
可講的我都會講
講我都會講
請你不要亂猜 受創
如你心安不厭我 我都講

請請你不要拖
請你不要拖
請你請你別拖
可講的也請你講
講到底也講
讓我不再絕望

以真心 將謊言盡擋
我衷心 將一切盡講

夢在心中多好
情毋須怎宣佈
無情話 無謂去製造 真相論程度

願望星般多高
祈求真心傾訴
如無盡 蒙在那片霧 真愛未看到

**If you don't understand Chinese, it's ok. I am just expressing my feeling with a Chinese song. My feeling is almost 100% matching with this song.

Google Summer of Code

I really want to participate to the Google Summer of Code program.  I tried to apply for it last year, but I got rejected because I couldn't commit a lot of my time to programming.  However, I want to apply again this year.  I know it will be a lot of programming for me, but I think it will also be a great experience.

I want to submit a proposal, but before doing  that, I think I better play around with some of the things I am currently interested in, then decide on the organization I want to participate in.  I think it will be more efficient that way.

Hopefully I can participate this year. ^^  I will work hard to find out about the program tomorrow.

Time flies

It's almost 3 months since I left Vancouver.  My lifestyle had changed a lot....
Back then, I ate a lot of junk food, but now, everything I eat is healthy one.
I don't eat a lot anymore, because I want to look prettier.  hehe

I am starting to get used to my life in Waterloo.  I don't find myself too lonely now.  I have my co-workers to talk to; I have my friends online; I have books to read; I have honey to talk with.

Time will fly...I will be happy.

Feeling painful

When hunny said he didn't want to talk to me, I really wished oppa would come to Waterloo to kill me.  My heart was so painful when he said that.

SFU coop

I believe SFU is coming to Waterloo to visit me and other SFU students working at RIM soon.
Am I excited? I don't know....probably not. I don't know those people, as my coordinator is having a baby, so she is on leave right now.
hahaha...I miss SFU....the labs, the professors, my classmates...etc. I like the smiles from my professors; I like the chats with my classmates; I like the joy working together in the labs. Blaaaah....I am done with CS...wooohooo...
Business business business....that's all I should think about right now. ^^
I am almost done....go go go go!!
See??
http://www.annielo.ca/Site/My_Courses.html

Toronto

I finally spent a day in Toronto.  Comparing to Waterloo, I think Toronto is heaven.  I love busier cities, with more people, and more things to buy!!  Downtown Kitchener is nothing if I compare it with Downtown Toronto.  Shopping there is sooo fun!!

I will post some random pictures I took in Facebook later.

And yes...I need to work tomorrow again.  I hope I can fix the technical problem that I had for days...

Mom + hunny

I phoned my mom last night.  It was a horrible talk.  It was ok at first, but my mom started to talk about honey and told me that he does not deserve to be my lover.  Back in Vancouver, I had tried to persuaded her to try accepting him, and believing me, but I know it didn't work out.  Every time we had a conversation, she would bring it up and made our conversation very unpleasant.  At the end, one of us would end the call.

Honey was sick yesterday...well...he is still sick, according to him.  I am worried about him, but when he said he couldn't talk to me anymore, my emotion wasn't very controllable.  I started to say he was leaving me alone again.  I know it wasn't true, but I am still very hurt and painful that I am now alone.

I love him, and I will love him more when he comes back.

Getting a car

I had been talking to my brother for a few days about getting a car. Since he is more knowledgeable than me in cars, I think it's a very good idea to get some suggestions from him.

After thinking about it, I think I will decide if I buy a car or not when I get a permanent job. I want to know where I will live in the long run. If I choose to stay in Ontario, I will to transfer my driving licence to the Ontario one. I might want to warm up my driving again in Vancouver if I can stay there for a while, then take another driving test to upgrade my licence to class 5, then transfer my licence to a G Ontario licence. After all these are done, then I can get a car!! If I cannot stay in Vancouver, then I will transfer my licence to G2 (maybe)n then take a driving test to upgrade my licence to G. Either way, I think it will work. I hope I can get a job soon. That will really help me make my decision.

So sleepy

I am so sleepy...
I couldn't sleep again last night.
Not the same problem as last time...
I don't have much energy to talk now...
I will write more about this later.

Update on 7:43pm:
This time it's about my honey. I missed him so much, and I couldn't wait for him anymore so I sent him a sms. He replied to me with email, and told me that he was just busy. In my mind, I thought he was forgetting me, so I didn't accept that reason. Personally, I will never leave my lover like that, so I couldn't understand his action.

Anyway, because of the sadness I got from last night, I couldn't sleep at all. I kept thinking....what should I do? Should I leave him? I love him so much...and that was the only reason why I didn't want to break up. However, logically, if I knew that he was forgetting me, no matter how much I love him, I should break up.

One thing that touched my heart is that he could finally talk to me this morning. I was so happy, but I couldn't show too much as it was actually my work hour when he phoned me. I love him so much. Hearing his voice strengthens me to continue waiting for him. It gives me the energy and motivation to continue taking care of myself. It might be such a little thing for some people, but to me, it's really the best thing he can give me.

I tried to phone him after work, but he didn't answer my call. Oh well~

Anyway, I will write later. I can write this much right now because I am actually using my laptop. In my other entries, I had been using my BlackBerry. If there are any typos, I am very sorry. I don't usually spend too much time checking my grammar and spelling if I am writing with my phone.

Last night

I couldn't sleep last night.
Not because I wasn't tired, but because of something my friend from Vancouver said to me last night.

In August, I met him. At first, we didn't talk a lot, but we started to use sms to communicate a while later. It's not because I didn't want to talk to him on the phone, but because he found using sms more sweet (don't ask me why). Umm...ok...so we used sms everyday, till one day I told him that I had to go to Waterloo for work. We didn't talk a lot afterwards. He had a new roommate, and from that day, we didn't talk much again. I sent him a sms on the day of my flight to Waterloo. He didn't reply me; I thought he was mad at me, but he told me last night that his grandma passed away, and that's why he was away from Canada.

Ok...that really surprised me.

We didn't talk for a few months. I remember he told me he saw me at Columbia with another man. He was jealous. He insulted me that day...

Aah...so I forgot about him when I arrived Waterloo.

A few days ago, he contacted me again. He told me to return Vancouver, and that he missed me so much. I thought he was joking, so I said, sure. Then yesterday, he proposed to me. He said he would wait for me to Vancouver, and he was going to say he wanted to be my boy when I returned. He shocked me...really...he said he realized I am so important when I am gone.

I am thankful for how he feels, but I don't know how to reject him. I don't want to lose a friend.

Lack of communication

It had been a few days since honey last sent me an email.  I don't know if he is busy or ignoring me, but I don't feel too happy about it.
I tried to make myself happy...by not thinking about it...but that's really all I could do.

Going crazy

I am starting to run out of things to say....
I don't think anyone really cares anyway....
Ha....let's write a function in here instead...I think anyone can understand...

Static void printCrazyStatement() {

       boolean crazy = true;

       while (crazy) {
              System.out.println("I am starting to go crazy....");
       }

}

Have a good day~

Problems

Oppa doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't know if that's a good thing. Maybe it is...because I know I cannot listen to him forever. Today, he asked me a very weird question (I am not going to state the question here). I replied him with the answer no. He asked me again...and I repeated the same thing. That's how we broke connection. That's stupid...really... I don't understand why he asked me that question. I am just his...dongseng...didn't he get that?

I went to the bank again after work. The weather was slightly better than yesterday, but it was still around -20 degree cel. I miss Vancouver, where weather is warm and sunny.

I miss honey a lot, but I no longer know how to communicate with him. He seems so far away from me. Will our relationship last? I love him so much. I don't know how he thinks about me.

I need to work harder tomorrow. I have so much to do in such little time. I wonder if I can handle everything.

I need to be strong. Men say that girls are weak, but I cannot. I need to face the challenges, and be the best I can be.

Inspire

I got inspired by a book recently...
It's a psychological book...very very interesting...
It gets me to know how people think...and what's the big difference between men and women.

+++

Sooo cold outside...-30...I went to the bank today after work....I almost got killed because of the wind chill...
I probably need to go again tomorrow....I think my account is messed up.  The bank attempted to charge me even though I don't have to pay anything.

And Wednesday, I need to go back to the new house for the leasing agreement.  Sigh...so want a stable life.  I don't really want to deal with such issues.

I miss him

One week has gone by.
I miss him so much.
However, when I think about him, it makes me happy. We will meet again soon...we will...

Almost one week has gone

It had almost been a week since I talked to honey.  I miss him a lot.  For the last few days, the only way I could contact him was email, which wasn't a lot...  He said he didn't have a lot of access to internet, so I could understand that.

I had been trying to be happy, and stay positive about our relationship.  I had worked hard in the company, cooked more at home, studied at night, read books I bought to keep myself busy.  I don't want a meaningless life while I am living alone in Waterloo, so I hope I can do something when I have a bit of time.

I wonder how he is right now.  I think he is probably in Korea already, chatting with his friends and family members.  Did he forget me already...I wonder...  anyway...I should stop thinking about that.  He will come back eventually...I just have to be more patient.

I cannot believe it's March already.  They sky is so beautiful today, even though it's still very cold when I step out from my apartment.  I went out to buy some food....man...that was soo heavy.  I carried 30lbs of stuff back home....lucky I had a bag with me that I normally don't use.  I am strong...I can do it. ^^

Chat with my friend

Last day of February....I got lots of complaints from my friends in Korea.

He said,"I don't want to go back to university!"

"Maybe you can see your girlfriend more...if you two study together..." I replied.

He said, "No!"

Anyway....he was pretty funny. He kept teasing my Chinese name, mainly because he said it sounds like a typical Korean name. I was like....but I don't think my last name is a Korean last time. He said...actually, your last name is a Korean last name. And it's the same as the previous Korea president. I was soo .... shocked.

Anyway....end of story....need to go back to work...

Getting myself busy

Four days after honey is gone...what did I do?  Well...nothing very special.  Besides spending the time reading books at home and working during office hours, I spent more time in cooking than I used to have when honey was here.  I also spent some time studying hangul again....well...I kind of started it in June 2008, but I was too busy so I stopped for a long time.

I feel like I am studying Mandarin again...haha

When I started studying Mandarin a few years ago, I started with pinyin.  I spent so much time mastering how to read every pinyin I can see...in less than one second...  I wish I can do that to hangul too.

Anyway, I made something very tasty today.  I don't know what the name is, but I basically used oriental noodles, onions, garlic, beef, carrot, with some red pepper sauce.  It tasted wonderful!!  The only bad thing is...I spent at least 35 minutes making that....but everything was perfect!! ^^

 

Haha...what am I doing?

Marketing my food?

Anyway...I didn't write any blog with my notebook for a long time....  I had been blogging with my BlackBerry for sooo long.  I kinda forgot how blogging can be more fun with a computer.

Lost contact

It had been days since I talked to my boyfriend. I don't know where he is, nor I know if he is safe or not. I am so worried about him. I hope he will send me an email soon. I don't want to worry about him too much.

Last night, I talked to my Deuk-Yong oppa for a while. Similar to me, our lovers are no longer with us because they move back to their hometown. We are so sad...really...he also told me that he gave me up when I was still in Vancouver because he saw me with another boy in Columbia. I couldn't see him back then, but he was so jealous. I am feeling very sorry for him. We had quite a lot of memories together, as we used to talk in SMS everyday. Anyhow, it was still very sweet of him to say that he still wants to be with me. I think he is too upset that his gf left him. I only want to wait for my bf. I hope he will contact me soon.

Missing him

It had been a day since my last time to see him. I am not used to it yet. He is in my mind all the time, and I can imagine that he is still very close to me.

I need to wake up...I cannot do more daydreaming. I need to be strong; I need to be positive. Time will pass by quickly and I can see him again soon.

Honey is leaving

Honey is leaving Waterloo today. Even though he will stay in Canada for a few more days, to me, he is no longer with me in the country. I hope our love will stay strong even though we cannot see each other in person. It hurts to see him go, but I really have no choice. I hope I can see him soon.

Meanwhile, I will stay strong and be a better person. When he comes back, we will be merrier, and happier.

Last day with honey

Actually, I don't know if it's a bad thing for us to leave each other for a while.  I mean...I will miss him for sure, but I think this is a good tiime to separate so that we can have some time to "upgrade" ourselves, and when we are together again, he has his degree, and I have mine (hopefully!).  I will probaby have a job by then, and he can start his master degree program.  I remember I want to apply for the GDBA program a while ago.  Do I still want to do that?  Maybe....at least I can work on that online, but I need to work hard because I need to work and study at the same time.  Maybe I shouldn't think about this now....just work hard in my co-op workterm, then think about the future.

I don't know what I can do with my honey today.  I want to give him something for memory, but I really don't have anything special that represents me.  Buying something in the store doesn't mean anything...because I might not even remember why I buy the item in the first place....haha...

Anyway...I gotta be happy....and wait for him to come back...

Housing

I am moving out in May...
Actually, this decision surprises me. Yes...I don't like living in where I am living, but at least I can call it my shelter in Waterloo. I should be happy with what I have. However, the homeowner is being so unreasonable. I really cannot stand them when they charged me so high for the rent.

I want my own home, but I really need to learn how to save money. I should use money when I need it..and not waste money on useless things.

Anyway, if I can find a place to stay, that's great. I don't have to worry so much anymore.

Positive thinking

I start to accept the fact that honey is about to leave Canada soon. I don't know if it is me...or maybe I am feeling our love...but I feel happier about our future. I feel like honey will come back soon and our love will be stronger than before. We will value each other even more when we are together again. I love him so much, and I cannot use any words to describe my feelings. I hope he feels the same.

We will be together again. He is right. Positive thinking is extremely important.

Family Day

I didn't know that today is a holiday in Ontario until last Thursday when my co-worker mentioned it to me about the upcoming long weekend.  At first, I was pretty happy because I could a longer break, but when I realized I only have a few days before honey leaves me, I didn't feel the excitement anymore.

Anyway....I am kind of pissed that my mom had been trying to control me...or at least asking me to do and get mad at me for some small reasons...

I got quite upset every time i talked to her....

Housing problem

I need to move to another place soon.....the homeowner is being so unreasonable about the renting fee, and they aren't so nice to me either.  This problem gives me a headache when I think about it....arggggh

My heart is crying

My heart is crying...
So painful...
I have to stay happy...because I want him to be happy...

^^

Leaving in a few days

I had a very bad news yesterday.
My boyfriend will be returning to Korea to finish his BBA degree. He said he will come back, and I wish he is not lying to me. I love him, but I know how my life will be like without him. I only have a few days with him before he needs to leave. I wish he was just joking, but I cannot stop him. To love him, I know I need to let him go. I know it's the best thing to do for his future, and I cannot be selfish. I need to trust him that he loves me forever, and I need to wait for his return. I wish I can go with him, but I am binded with a work contract.
This news gives me so much pain, but I hope this event will make us love each other more when we are together again.

Birthday!!

I can't believe I am getting older by another year again. This year is so special, so I am having my birthday out of Vancouver. Instead of celebrating with my family, I get to be with my lover. It has its good/bad side...I guess.

I really want a car for birthday gift...hahaha Actually, I think I will get one when I have a permanent job. I really want my own car. ^^

Work + Personal

I am so stressed out today.  I was working on my ongoing project, which will be used over 700 times each day by users, and a co-worker came to me requesting my help to do some investigation on an urgent bug that needs to be fixed as soon as possible.  I really have no clue how to fix it.  I tried to execute the code on my localhost, but everything worked fine.  I guess I will try harder tomorrow.  I told myself that everything will turn out to be ok...just like everything I did before, but the hard work I put into it always give me a lot of pressure.

I hope my job is better in the future. ^^

I phoned my mom around half an hour ago.  Everything was ok.  I am quite happy that I could talk to her with peace.  I hope our relationship will get better, and she will understand me.  I am growing up, and I am happy that I am here....trying to be independent.

Ramdom thoughts

I am going to Kitchener again. I find it more relaxing when I have something to do. Staying at home stresses me sometimes, so if I have a chance, I want to go somewhere I had never been to before. ^^

I had talked to oppa recently. He used to talk to me in a very commanding way, which made me somewhat uncomfortable at times; however, the last time I talked him, I felt like I am talking to an old friend. We asked how we are doing, so what are keeping us busy. I am relieved that we weren't talking like how we were in Vancouver. Not going to SFU anymore makes me start to forget the old times between me and him. I remember we used to stay in ASB all the time, and we came to the CS Common Room during the weekend. We also went to Metrotown for a drink, and we talked talked talked. I know our time will never return again, but I treasure this special memory. He is special to me; not because I want to be with him, but I had learned loads from him. I had always thought that I am a pure Asian, but I had learned from him that I am brainwashed by the western culture already. We argued a lot, but I also learned a lot about Asian culture. I thank him, really...

I should feel and be positive from now on. I shouldn't make my love ones unhappy.

So unhappy

Sooo unhappy...I cannot sleep. I tried to make myself happy by doing something I like, such as learning Joomla, but I know this is not enough. In order to make myself happy, I need to depend on how I think about everything around me. He is making me upset, but I love him. I don't know if we can be together forever, but it doesn't mean I should giveup. I shouldn't giveup in everything. I have to be strong and look forward. I really hope I can do it. I need to grow up, don't get upset because of some stupid thing, and end up hurting each other. Maybe he will never believe me again, but I still have to do it. It's part of my life learning, and I know it will help me to become a better person, to me, my boyfriend,or anyone I love.

PHP programming

It's a pain in the ass to debug PHP code. First of all, I am not familiar with the language. Secondly, the code is not even mine!!

Anyway, I will learn from it.

I just got a drink from a co-worker. He is very nice!! ^^

What exactly is the problem?

Arrghh...
This is stressing me out. Something that works on my local machine but not on the test server. How am I supposed to get it promoted to the production server soon?

Anyway, let me try that again.

Starting to like BlackBerry

Here I am again...
I am blogging more in these few days...
I am not bored...let me assure you...
I just want to talk more because I feel like my emotion is trapped inside for too long.

Ummm...typing on the BlackBerry isn't too bad afterall. I begin to like its keyboard. I told someone that the keys of the smartphone are too small. His response is...your hands are so small too!! Hahaha...I think he is right. Its not that bad. I wonder if I want to get my own BlackBerry after I finish my co-op term 8 months.

Blogging with BlackBerry

Guess what?  I had been blogging with my BlackBerry for almost a month, but I don't think anyone will ever see the difference!!

I have so much work to do these days....I had asked other co-ops.  Some of them don't seem to have so much tasks to do.  Maybe I am just too hardworking....I don't know...

Anyway....I want to go eat something.  I will write more later.

Feeling guilty

Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not phoning my parents as much as I want to. It might be an excuse, but I really have lots of things to do everyday - cooking, taking a shower, cleaning, etc. It might seem easy, but they do take most of my time at home.

I hope my parents aren't as worried as they were when I was still living in Vancouver. I am getting used to my new life in Waterloo, and I am pretty happy about it. Anyway, I guess I will write more later. I had been blogging with my phone..haha..cool~

Frequent change

I realize there are too much changes at work. It might be a good thing, as I don't feel my days are boring. However, there are times when I refer to work with forseen expectation. Tasks assigned to me with things I don't know about always give me worries.

Three weeks had passed...nothing special...

My relationship with my boyfriend starts to return to normal again. ^^ I am very happy~

Reflection

It had been two days after we had a quarrel.  Life is getting better since we started to talk more.  I feel like we had returned to the relationship we had when we were still in Vancouver.  Living together was a very difficult thing for me, but I started to be able to accept new ideas, and try new things.  Both of us come from a different cultural background.  As long as we can try to understand each other, everything should be ok.

I miss Vancouver.  I want to call my parents sometimes, but I don't really know what to say for most of the time.  I hope they are adjusting the new life without my brother and me.  I hope they can understand me one day.  I am not trying to think negatively....but thinking about them does make me very worried...

Be a better girlfriend

I had lots of arguments with my boyfriend lately. After yesterday's incident, I felt that he is more distanced from me. Even though I truly realize that I do really love him, I feel scared of him. At the moment I thought I would lose him forever, I realized that I do love him so much. I don't know why I love him, but I do. I am somewhat happy that I don't have a reason to love him. That's because...if the reason is no longer valid, I cannot love him anymore. I believe that my feeling to him is permanent, and that I will always love him.

From now on, I will be a better girlfriend. I will be more mature; I will try my best to take care of him and love him more.

Loving a person isn't easy, and living in the same house makes it even harder. I love him, and I believe my love to him will make us happier.

Becoming stronger

Ooh....I didn't update this site for a long time.  I had been trying to adopt to my new life in Waterloo, and settle everything down.  Ever since I came here, I finally realize being independent isn't an easy task.  I had wanted to do that for a long time, but I never had a chance to.

For the first time in my life, I had to cook myself; I have to buy things myself; I have to do everything myself.  Life isn't as easy anymore, and I believe I have the ability to face this problem, and a stronger person.