Life change

This is my 400th post in this blog in Blogger!

Isn't it time to celebrate? I created this blog in November 2005, but I started writing in this blog in January 2006. It had been over 2 years already. My life had changed a lot! I remember....when I first wrote in this blog, it was mainly about my relationship with Kevin (I called him Duckie). This blog's name was "Duckie Love", but I changed the name to "Kitty Life" around two years ago, and I changed it again to "I Love My Life" around a year ago.

My focus in life had changed. I was so happy with my love life a long time ago, but my relationship disappointed me again and again. If you take your time to read my old blog entries, you will probably learn how I struggle with my relationship with Kevin. He was my love, my friend, my listener. He was always so patient with me. However, I also learned that we can never be happy together. Not only is that a problem between the two of us, it is also a problem between two families. Anyway, and so....since it made me so upset, I didn't really talk about this problem anymore. Instead of writing about my love, I wrote about what I did at school and work. I also wrote about how I worked hard at school so I could get into the Faculty of Business. In addition, I also wrote about my co-op life.

Recently, I also wrote about Chinese, Korean, Japanese, and English songs I love to listen to. I want to share my joy to readers, instead of just bringing sorrow to people. I love sharing thoughts, or maybe writing random things.

And I got to meet Oppa again last semester. I wrote about him...as he entered my life when I started sharing my sorrows with him in May 2008. I know him for more than two years, but I didn't really talk to him much after a course that I took with him ended. I saw him occasionally at school, such as on a web application fair session I had for CMPT 470 with Greg Baker. I talked to him for a while in the information fair, but that was about it. I know more about him in the conversation with Kevin, knowing Kevin always get annoyed by Oppa. Anyway, in May 2008, I started to talk to Oppa a lot more. He became my .... I don't know who he is ... but anyway, he became someone I really care about, and someone close to me (brother? friend?).

Life changed sooo much... now Oppa has gone back to Korea. I can't really write anything about him anymore. Sometimes I am not too sure what he is doing, but I do think about him. All I know is that he is trying hard in his job hunting, and I will be doing the same thing for the next couple of months. I wish I can see him again, but I don't know if that will ever happen.

Until someone comes to my life, I guess my blog will be related to my school life, and job hunting. haha

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I guess my stories are starting to bore you guys....I will share a song with you.

Kurumi - Mr.Children

Mr.Children - くるみ

作詩：Kazutoshi Sakurai 作曲：Kazutoshi Sakurai

ねぇ　くるみ
この街の景色は君の目にどう映るの?
今の僕はどう見えるの?

ねぇ　くるみ
誰かの優しさも皮肉に聞こえてしまうんだ
そんな時はどうしたらいい?

良かった事だけ思い出して
やけに年老いた気持ちになる
とはいえ暮らしの中で
今　動き出そうとしている
歯車のひとつにならなくてはなぁ
希望の数だけ失望は増える
それでも明日に胸は震える
「どんな事が起こるんだろう?」
想像してみるんだよ

ねぇ　くるみ
時間が何もかも洗い連れ去ってくれれば
生きる事は実に容易い

ねぇ　くるみ
あれからは一度も涙は流してないよ
でも　本気で笑う事も少ない

どこかで掛け違えてきて
気が付けば一つ余ったボタン
同じようにして誰かが　持て余したボタンホールに
出会う事で意味が出来たならいい
出会いの数だけ別れは増える
それでも希望に胸は震える
十字路に出くわすたび
迷いもするだろうけど

今以上をいつも欲しがるくせに
変わらない愛を求め歌う
そうして歯車は回る
この必要以上の負担に
ギシギシ鈍い音をたてながら
希望の数だけ失望は増える
それでも明日に胸は震える
「どんな事が起こるんだろう?」
想像してみよう
出会いの数だけ別れは増える
それでも希望に胸は震える
引き返しちゃいけないよね
進もう　君のいない道の上へ

Translation:

tell me, Kurumi
What do you see looking at this city
How do I look to you now?

tell me, Kurumi
When I start to hear the sarcasm in someone's kindness
What am I to do?

Remembering only the good times
though it makes me feel like I've aged a sum
But you gotta be one of the gears
trying to get turning
You can have only as much despair as you have hope.
but still, my heart trembles at the thought of the future
'what's going to happen?'
I try to imagine.

tell me, Kurumi
If time will eventually wash it all away
then life must be a simple affair.

tell me, Kurumi
since then I haven't cried once
but, neither have I had many good laughs

Somewhere I did up the buttons wrong,
by the time I notice, there's one button leftover
and similarly one button hole, in need of a button
If you find meaning in finding someone then fine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
still my heart trembles at the thought of hope.
everytime I encounter a crossroads
I'll fret over which way to go but...

Eventhough I want more than I have now
I sing for an unchanging love
that's what makes the gears turn
with the burden of more than I need,
making a dull grinding sound
you can have only as much despair as you do hope
and still my heart trembles
at the thought of the future
"what's going to happen?"
let's imagine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
and still my heart trembles at the thought of hope
guess there's no turning back,
so I'll go on, to a road without you.

Credit: http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/5844/mrchildren/kurumi.html