Second day without Duckie

The second day without duckie...nothing much had happened. I promised that I will help my dad to burn his DVDs, so I helped him after I fixed up something up on my computer.

I am as lazy as the past week. I still don't wanna do anything yet. hahaa

Anyway, today, I moved all the SMS messages to my computer. I want to store as many messages as possible. I don't know if I will read them later, but I love to keep all the things duckie sent me. And so, I always try my best to keep them.

Hmm....today seems so quiet, but I am happy. I don't know why. In these 2 days, the feelings I had before I met duckie has returned to me. The only difference I had between those 2 feelings is that this one I have right now involving thinking about duckie once in a while. I am actually feeling happy even though I am missing him. I don't have this feeling for a long time. I really don't know how this feeling can return to me.

Duckie, I wonder where you are. Are you returning to Canada? Are you still in Portland? Are you having a lot of fun? I miss your MSN messages. I miss your voice in the phone. I miss the look in your face when you stare at me. You never told me when you will be back in Canada. Will I be able to talk to you before I go to work tomorrow? Will I be able to talk to you at all? Have you ever think about me? Have you keep your promise?

You said you were worried how it would be like if we are separated for a while. I know it's only 2 days of separation, but I can tell you something. I think I have returned to normal. At the least, I will not cry when you are not here with me. I can be independent again, and I have kept your promise. I am feeling happy, and I am just patiently waiting for your return.

I wonder if you will check your e-mail once you are back, or will you go to sleep right away because you are too tired to turn on your computer? I wonder if you will even check my blog, a blog which I created especially for you. I wonder....I wonder....I have so many unknowns that I can't wait to find out the truth.

Duckie, I love you forever. I can't wait to talk to you again. Hopefully, when I wake up tomorrow, you will be here, smiling at me with your MSN grinning face.

In here, I wish you have a good night, and sweet dreams.

First day without Duckie

The first day without duckie...I was generally happy. When I woke up, I wasn't too happy, to be honest, but when I realized duckie is going to have a lot of fun in Portland, I just smile. :) I wish duckie is going to have a lot of fun in the weekend.

Today, my family (included me, of course) went to eat all-you-can-eat. It was sooo tasty, and got me all full. hahahaa....I love sushi!

And, today, we went to Aberdeen Centre becuase my mom wanted to do something in HSBC bank. Meanwhile, I just walked around, and I saw this cute shirt..hahaa...

And, I had realized the cartoon on this shirt was the thing this store was selling. The whole store had this character on all its fashion clothings. It was quite cute, seriously. I wanted one of that too, but I wasn't too interested to really go into the store and checked out the price. hahaa....

Anyway, after that, we went to Staples for a walk, then we went back home, and I slept like a pig.

Considering I just ate all-you-can-eat and went to sleep after about an hour, I just realized it was quite bad an idea. hahaaa

Duckie, I miss you. Wish you are having a lot of fun.

Duckie, have fun in the weekend!

Duckie is leaving Vancouver for two days (or more....I don't know) in the weekend. That's the first time, in about two years of our relationship, that we will not even talk to each other, including in MSN. In the past, we always talked to each other, at least in MSN, even when we couldn't see each other. This event made me really upset, but then, I know, it's just two days. Oh well....I know he will not stay for me. Like feeling sad will get him to stay for me.

Anyway, today, before he goes to US, we went out to see each other. I was really really happy to see him. However, when I thought about missing him, I sobbed for a moment. I really love duckie. I wish I can see him again, really soon.

I promise duckie that I will stay happy in these days when I cannot see him. I know I can do it. I will stay happy and wait for his return.

I love you, duckie. I wish you are going to have a lot of fun with your family.

so wanna cry

I feel really hurted...what should I do? I wanna cry...but no one is with me. I know I need to be strong. I know I need to be good. No one loves me now. Do I still love duckie? maybe not anymore....

I feel so sad...

Everytime I want him, he isn't here for me anymore. What should I do?

Duckie hurted me again...

Sometimes, I really don't understand what duckie is thinking. He said he loves me, but he never did anything to show that. For example, in the weekend, he will go to US with his family (he abandoned me, of course). On Tuesday, he will take the driver test, and again, forget me. He knows that I have work on Monday, but still..he will rest when I am busy, and get busy when I am available to see him. Too bad I can't change my work schedule, or I can see him as well. I really don't get what he is thinking....I really don't get it. Maybe.....all he wants is to leave me alone, so he can do whatever he wants to.

He really hurted me.....but sigh....

I know I will need to concentrate on something else. Maybe...I should start to depend on something else, but not him. I need to find my true happiness.

In these days...

After duckie's birthday, my regular schedule changed quite a bit.

On Monday, I woke up at about 11:00am, then I read a book called "Marley and Me" for about half an hour. I checked out some websites, talked to duckie in msn for a while, then I went to work. When I came back from work, it's already about 7:35pm. I went to eat something, then I took a bath. I watched some TV while eating dinner, washed the dishes, then I went to sleep.

On Tuesday (today), I thought I could see duckie, as he told me on Sunday that I could see him. However, he told me that he was tired, and he didn't want to come out. blaaaah....excuse for him. I do hate him, but oh well.....takes too much energy to hate him right now.
And...just now, he told me he wants to go biking. Man...how much I hate him. He said he wanted to stay home yesterday, so he could rest or something. Now, he says he wants to go out on his own. ..... What can I say? I am feeling so sad...I hope someone can realy comfort me now.

Anyway, I had modified my old desktop computer a bit. This is how my computer is like right now. (lol...what a mess, but oh well).

Happy birthday!

Duckie, happy birthday. I wish you had a happy birthday today. I know I didn't mention too much about birthday to you, but I hope you will understand. From what my mom told me, we shouldn't mention too much about birthday. As long as you know we are celebrating your birthday, and I know you are happy happy, then I am happy already. It's just my habit of never mention too much about it....so I hope you will understand.

Always love you,
Kitty

Tomorrow will be duckie's birthday!

Tomorrow is duckie's birthday! Happy birthday, little cute duckie. ^^
I wish you are feeling good good everyday.

Amadeus, just to let you know. You are welcomed to comment in me in this blog. You asked me if you can comment here, but I was bathing at that time. Sorry about that.

2 days till duckie's birthday

Two days till Duckie's birthday. I think I start to feel more excited for my little cutie duckie. =P hahaaa
I hope you are feeling ok, duckie. Get well soon!

Sorry for late posting today. I feel really sick right now.

3 days till duckie's birthday

Three days till Duckie's birthday. I feel more happy for him. Duckie, I don't know if I can celebrate with you that day, but I do wish you will be happy happy as always. Wishing you that you will be healthy is the greatest wish I have. I always feel happy to see you looking healthy.

I love you, duckie. Happy happy birthday.

4 days till duckie's birthday

Only four days till duckie's birthday. Since this is supposed to be a blog for duckie, I will post it here. Happy happy birthday, duckie.

I wish you are happy and healthy every year.

I love you forever, duckie. I know our love will never end.

New monitor

Well, it's not me who got a new monitor. It's my dad who got a new monitor for his computer. hahaaa

This is the rough specs of this monitor.
Model: Sony MFM-HT75W

Type: Monitor, TV

Screen Size: 17 inches

Native Resolution: 1280 x 768 pixels x pixels

Supported EDTV and HDTV Resolutions: 1080i pixels

Aspect Ratio: 16:10

Video Inputs: Component, Composite, DVI, RF, S-Video

PC Interfaces: Analog VGA and DVI-D

Built-in TV Tuner: NTSC

pixel Response Time (Gray to Gray): 16 milliseconds

Rated Contrast Ratio: 800:1

Brightness (Max): 450 cd/m^2



Pretty much...you can use it as a TV or a LCD monitor. It's pretty cool. haahaa...

Duckie and I

This blog is supposed to be for my little duckie, but I started to mess this blog around with my personal issues. Well, it's not because duckie isn't important to me anymore. Just that, sometimes, I feel too frustrated in my other issues that I just complained whenever I have a chance.

My relationship with duckie had been going too horrible. I had been yelling at him everyday and kept telling that that we will be breaking up. However, I know I love him more than anyone I know in my life. And, I know, I will love him forever.

And today, I think I finally think things through. I decide to stay with him, and love him. I will try my best to understand him, and will never say anything about breaking up again. I want to fix up our relationship, and perhaps, we can be really really happy, like how we had been before (a long time ago).

In the past, I had been thinking that duckie doesn't like me that much. It seemed to me that he had been always selfish, and only thought about him first. I know, however, that he loves me (at least that's what I think he is).

Now, I will try to change. My temper hadn't been good at all, it led me to change my personality a lot. I said a lot of non-sense things, and asked duckie to do something that I know he couldn't do it. My purpose was to make him struggled with me, and perhaps leave me alone.

Duckie, I am sorry for everything I caused. I will love you more, and perhaps a lot more than before. Please take care of yourself. I know one day, we will be happy again, and maybe, a lot more happy than before.

I love you forever

P.S. I had enabled the comment section in this blog. There is a chance that I will close down my forum. If you have anything to say, maybe it's better if you reply in here instead.

I love this pencil

You can tell I am not even a good blogger anymore. I only write a blog in my blogs once in a while. Maybe I am too lazy, or too busy, but doesn't matter. haahaa

Anyway, I am currently wanting a Pilot pencil (Dr. Grip).







It looks so cool, eh? hahaaa

Anyway, I have to work really hard. So....talk to you later! ^^