Chat with my friend

Last day of February....I got lots of complaints from my friends in Korea.

He said,"I don't want to go back to university!"

"Maybe you can see your girlfriend more...if you two study together..." I replied.

He said, "No!"

Anyway....he was pretty funny. He kept teasing my Chinese name, mainly because he said it sounds like a typical Korean name. I was like....but I don't think my last name is a Korean last time. He said...actually, your last name is a Korean last name. And it's the same as the previous Korea president. I was soo .... shocked.

Anyway....end of story....need to go back to work...

Getting myself busy

Four days after honey is gone...what did I do?  Well...nothing very special.  Besides spending the time reading books at home and working during office hours, I spent more time in cooking than I used to have when honey was here.  I also spent some time studying hangul again....well...I kind of started it in June 2008, but I was too busy so I stopped for a long time.

I feel like I am studying Mandarin again...haha

When I started studying Mandarin a few years ago, I started with pinyin.  I spent so much time mastering how to read every pinyin I can see...in less than one second...  I wish I can do that to hangul too.

Anyway, I made something very tasty today.  I don't know what the name is, but I basically used oriental noodles, onions, garlic, beef, carrot, with some red pepper sauce.  It tasted wonderful!!  The only bad thing is...I spent at least 35 minutes making that....but everything was perfect!! ^^

 

Haha...what am I doing?

Marketing my food?

Anyway...I didn't write any blog with my notebook for a long time....  I had been blogging with my BlackBerry for sooo long.  I kinda forgot how blogging can be more fun with a computer.

Lost contact

It had been days since I talked to my boyfriend. I don't know where he is, nor I know if he is safe or not. I am so worried about him. I hope he will send me an email soon. I don't want to worry about him too much.

Last night, I talked to my Deuk-Yong oppa for a while. Similar to me, our lovers are no longer with us because they move back to their hometown. We are so sad...really...he also told me that he gave me up when I was still in Vancouver because he saw me with another boy in Columbia. I couldn't see him back then, but he was so jealous. I am feeling very sorry for him. We had quite a lot of memories together, as we used to talk in SMS everyday. Anyhow, it was still very sweet of him to say that he still wants to be with me. I think he is too upset that his gf left him. I only want to wait for my bf. I hope he will contact me soon.

Missing him

It had been a day since my last time to see him. I am not used to it yet. He is in my mind all the time, and I can imagine that he is still very close to me.

I need to wake up...I cannot do more daydreaming. I need to be strong; I need to be positive. Time will pass by quickly and I can see him again soon.

Honey is leaving

Honey is leaving Waterloo today. Even though he will stay in Canada for a few more days, to me, he is no longer with me in the country. I hope our love will stay strong even though we cannot see each other in person. It hurts to see him go, but I really have no choice. I hope I can see him soon.

Meanwhile, I will stay strong and be a better person. When he comes back, we will be merrier, and happier.

Last day with honey

Actually, I don't know if it's a bad thing for us to leave each other for a while.  I mean...I will miss him for sure, but I think this is a good tiime to separate so that we can have some time to "upgrade" ourselves, and when we are together again, he has his degree, and I have mine (hopefully!).  I will probaby have a job by then, and he can start his master degree program.  I remember I want to apply for the GDBA program a while ago.  Do I still want to do that?  Maybe....at least I can work on that online, but I need to work hard because I need to work and study at the same time.  Maybe I shouldn't think about this now....just work hard in my co-op workterm, then think about the future.

I don't know what I can do with my honey today.  I want to give him something for memory, but I really don't have anything special that represents me.  Buying something in the store doesn't mean anything...because I might not even remember why I buy the item in the first place....haha...

Anyway...I gotta be happy....and wait for him to come back...

Housing

I am moving out in May...
Actually, this decision surprises me. Yes...I don't like living in where I am living, but at least I can call it my shelter in Waterloo. I should be happy with what I have. However, the homeowner is being so unreasonable. I really cannot stand them when they charged me so high for the rent.

I want my own home, but I really need to learn how to save money. I should use money when I need it..and not waste money on useless things.

Anyway, if I can find a place to stay, that's great. I don't have to worry so much anymore.

Positive thinking

I start to accept the fact that honey is about to leave Canada soon. I don't know if it is me...or maybe I am feeling our love...but I feel happier about our future. I feel like honey will come back soon and our love will be stronger than before. We will value each other even more when we are together again. I love him so much, and I cannot use any words to describe my feelings. I hope he feels the same.

We will be together again. He is right. Positive thinking is extremely important.

Family Day

I didn't know that today is a holiday in Ontario until last Thursday when my co-worker mentioned it to me about the upcoming long weekend.  At first, I was pretty happy because I could a longer break, but when I realized I only have a few days before honey leaves me, I didn't feel the excitement anymore.

Anyway....I am kind of pissed that my mom had been trying to control me...or at least asking me to do and get mad at me for some small reasons...

I got quite upset every time i talked to her....

Housing problem

I need to move to another place soon.....the homeowner is being so unreasonable about the renting fee, and they aren't so nice to me either.  This problem gives me a headache when I think about it....arggggh

My heart is crying

My heart is crying...
So painful...
I have to stay happy...because I want him to be happy...

^^

Leaving in a few days

I had a very bad news yesterday.
My boyfriend will be returning to Korea to finish his BBA degree. He said he will come back, and I wish he is not lying to me. I love him, but I know how my life will be like without him. I only have a few days with him before he needs to leave. I wish he was just joking, but I cannot stop him. To love him, I know I need to let him go. I know it's the best thing to do for his future, and I cannot be selfish. I need to trust him that he loves me forever, and I need to wait for his return. I wish I can go with him, but I am binded with a work contract.
This news gives me so much pain, but I hope this event will make us love each other more when we are together again.

Birthday!!

I can't believe I am getting older by another year again. This year is so special, so I am having my birthday out of Vancouver. Instead of celebrating with my family, I get to be with my lover. It has its good/bad side...I guess.

I really want a car for birthday gift...hahaha Actually, I think I will get one when I have a permanent job. I really want my own car. ^^

Work + Personal

I am so stressed out today.  I was working on my ongoing project, which will be used over 700 times each day by users, and a co-worker came to me requesting my help to do some investigation on an urgent bug that needs to be fixed as soon as possible.  I really have no clue how to fix it.  I tried to execute the code on my localhost, but everything worked fine.  I guess I will try harder tomorrow.  I told myself that everything will turn out to be ok...just like everything I did before, but the hard work I put into it always give me a lot of pressure.

I hope my job is better in the future. ^^

I phoned my mom around half an hour ago.  Everything was ok.  I am quite happy that I could talk to her with peace.  I hope our relationship will get better, and she will understand me.  I am growing up, and I am happy that I am here....trying to be independent.

Ramdom thoughts

I am going to Kitchener again. I find it more relaxing when I have something to do. Staying at home stresses me sometimes, so if I have a chance, I want to go somewhere I had never been to before. ^^

I had talked to oppa recently. He used to talk to me in a very commanding way, which made me somewhat uncomfortable at times; however, the last time I talked him, I felt like I am talking to an old friend. We asked how we are doing, so what are keeping us busy. I am relieved that we weren't talking like how we were in Vancouver. Not going to SFU anymore makes me start to forget the old times between me and him. I remember we used to stay in ASB all the time, and we came to the CS Common Room during the weekend. We also went to Metrotown for a drink, and we talked talked talked. I know our time will never return again, but I treasure this special memory. He is special to me; not because I want to be with him, but I had learned loads from him. I had always thought that I am a pure Asian, but I had learned from him that I am brainwashed by the western culture already. We argued a lot, but I also learned a lot about Asian culture. I thank him, really...

I should feel and be positive from now on. I shouldn't make my love ones unhappy.

So unhappy

Sooo unhappy...I cannot sleep. I tried to make myself happy by doing something I like, such as learning Joomla, but I know this is not enough. In order to make myself happy, I need to depend on how I think about everything around me. He is making me upset, but I love him. I don't know if we can be together forever, but it doesn't mean I should giveup. I shouldn't giveup in everything. I have to be strong and look forward. I really hope I can do it. I need to grow up, don't get upset because of some stupid thing, and end up hurting each other. Maybe he will never believe me again, but I still have to do it. It's part of my life learning, and I know it will help me to become a better person, to me, my boyfriend,or anyone I love.

PHP programming

It's a pain in the ass to debug PHP code. First of all, I am not familiar with the language. Secondly, the code is not even mine!!

Anyway, I will learn from it.

I just got a drink from a co-worker. He is very nice!! ^^

What exactly is the problem?

Arrghh...
This is stressing me out. Something that works on my local machine but not on the test server. How am I supposed to get it promoted to the production server soon?

Anyway, let me try that again.

Starting to like BlackBerry

Here I am again...
I am blogging more in these few days...
I am not bored...let me assure you...
I just want to talk more because I feel like my emotion is trapped inside for too long.

Ummm...typing on the BlackBerry isn't too bad afterall. I begin to like its keyboard. I told someone that the keys of the smartphone are too small. His response is...your hands are so small too!! Hahaha...I think he is right. Its not that bad. I wonder if I want to get my own BlackBerry after I finish my co-op term 8 months.

Blogging with BlackBerry

Guess what?  I had been blogging with my BlackBerry for almost a month, but I don't think anyone will ever see the difference!!

I have so much work to do these days....I had asked other co-ops.  Some of them don't seem to have so much tasks to do.  Maybe I am just too hardworking....I don't know...

Anyway....I want to go eat something.  I will write more later.