Leaving Vancouver in a few days

I cannot believe that I only have four days before I have to leave Vancouver.  As most of you know, I had been living in Vancouver for more than 10 years.  That's longer than the time I had lived in Hong Kong.  I am excited about the new change, but I am also feeling a bit nervous about it.  I don't know if everything will go smoothly.  I worry, not because I am not believing I don't the ability to handle such change, but because of my parents, and also my future in terms of career and education.  It's true that many people admire what I can do, and what I have, but do they even know how much effort I had put in to become how I am today?  Oh yes...I am a bit proud because of who I am, but I am also feeling ashamed because I can never fully control what I want to do in my life.  That's one reason why I want to find a job outside British Columbia.  I think that can make me more independent, and more mature.  And of course, I will have more freedom as well. =)

I will miss my Vancouver friends for the next little while, but I think it's ok.  As long as I have a "heart" to keep in touch, nothing is impossible.  My friends will always be my friends, and that will never change.  It doesn't matter where I am, we can always chat, and have fun with each other.

Happy holidays

I had been wanting to get out of my house to do some window shopping for the past few days, but I didn't get a chance as there were too much snow!!

If you are curious, check out some of my photos that I had uploaded to Facebook. =)

I am so sleepy right now...maybe I will type more later.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, everyone!!

Family pressure

My parents give me tons of pressure...
I don't even know how to explain my situation right now.  Thinking about the situation makes me very depressed, but I guess writing something down here will make me feel a bit better.

Argggh....I can't study what I want; I can't go out to find my bf in peace...and there are many many more.

I don't want to admit I am a bad girl.  I do try to do my best to be a good daughter, by helping them, caring for them, loving them.  I listen to them (by not studying something I really like), but let me some freedom with what I want to do!!  Please!!  I need a break!!

Argggh.....I don't think my blog entry makes a lot of sense right now, but whatever...I don't feel like fixing it up.

Understanding

It's hard to understand a man...
When I don't see him for a while, I will start to think...does he care? I wonder what he did..or what he is currently doing.
Perhaps I will never truly know what he is doing...
I had asked..."do you love me?"
"Of course!" he said.
Should I believe it? How much can I trust this?
One friend told me, "You should ignore your feelings if you don't have a good reason to believe he doesn't love you."
Maybe my friend is right....I should try to understand him. However, it doesn't make me feel happier.
Am I too sensitive? Maybe I am....and that's probably why I don't want to say too much to him. I don't want him to think that I am annoying him with stupid questions like these.
Maybe I should trust my lover...
I should trust him that he is just working hard. I should trust him that he loves me too. I should trust him that he is working hard for our future.

Last day of Kumon

Today is my last day of Kumon.
Well....it's supposed to be November 27th, but I agreed to help out for a few more days.
I am going to miss working there.

Forgotten Season

It's time for me to share another song. =)

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재중 - 잊혀진계절
Jaejoong - Forgotten Season

지금도 기억하고 있어요
시월의 마지막 밤을
뜻 모를 이야기를 남긴채
우리는 헤어졌지요..

Even now I am remembering
The last night of October
Words left behind hold an incomprehensible meaning
We have parted ways..

그 날의 쓸쓸했던 표정이
그대의 진실인 가요..
한 마디 변명도 못하고
잊혀져야 하는 건가요..

The expression of loneliness that day
Was that your truth?
Even if you couldn't say a single word of excuse
Must I be forgotten?

언제나 돌아오는 계절은
나에게 꿈을 주지만
이룰 수 없는 꿈은 슬퍼요..
나를 울려요 ...

A season that always comes back
Is a dream to me, yet
A dream that can't be realized is forlorn
It brings me sorrow...

그 날의 쓸쓸했던 표정이
그대의 진실인 가요..
한 마디 변명도 못하고
잊혀져야 하는 건가요..

The expression of loneliness that day
Was that your truth?
Even if you couldn't say a single word of excuse
Must I be forgotten?

언제나 돌아오는 계절은
나에게 꿈을 주지만
이룰 수 없는 꿈은 슬퍼요..
나를 울려요 ...
나를 울려...

A season that always comes back
Is a dream to me, yet
A dream that can't be realized is forlorn
It brings me to tears....
It brings me to...

Busy life....

I don't know what to write these days.  The main reason is that I really didn't do anything special other than preparing for exams, doing assignments and projects, and working at Kumon.

Umm...what else should I say?  Well...my mom isn't happy because of me and my brother.  She had gotten mor sick recently, and I really don't know what to do except trying to explain to her that my brother and I will be fine.  She gave me soo much stress!  She had also affected my mood as well....

Anyway...I have to return to work.  I will try to update this blog more often.

RIM Preparations

I did a lot of things to prepare myself for going to Waterloo:

• fix my iPhone.
• change my bank account
• send my work contract
• find a place to live
• get more information about my cellphone plan
• buy luggage
• book flight and limo

And on top of that, I need to study, work on my projects, talk to my love, practice martial art, etc.

Sooo busy!!

I need to study the map of Waterloo soon!! hahaha

And oh yeah...I signed up for more volunteering.

Work

I had been so busy with school work: the search engine group assignment, as well as the user interface group project.  I had been doing too many group related tasks lately, which makes communication becomes a huge part of my life.

My mom is finally back from Hong Kong.  We went out to Richmond Sushi to eat Japanese food to celebrate my mom's return.  Hearing stories from my mom makes me want to visit Hong Kong as well!!

I need to work work work work!!  Need to study harder!!

At the bus stop

At the bus stop...
(story from last night)

I am so bored right now...missing the bus is something that I really really dislike, especially when I have to wait for an hour for the next bus.  It is my fault that I didn't leave my friend's house early...and now I am stuck at 22nd street...typing out this blog.

Man...I am so tired right now.  The chill of the wind helps me to stay awake at night.  I want to walk across the bridge, but I don't want to risk my life again like last time.

My job in Waterloo is somewhat giving me stress.  I don't know when I can find a house to live in.  Uncertainty gives me lots of fear, but I am trying to think positively.  I am glad my boyfriend will be with me, or else I don't know if I can go there alone.  I envy him for coming all the way to Canada to study English.  I don't know if I can do the same if I am him.

I think I am going to keep typing until the bus comes.  I didn't write for a long time.  Especially with my busy schedule, it is hard for me to spend time doing something meaningless.  I love blogging, of course, but it doesn't produce any results.  Yes...my friends can read my blog, but who will really visit my blog from time to time to see how I am?  If that friend really does care, I am sure he/she will talk to me face to face instead.  He/She doesn't have to visit my blog in order to know something about me.

The view of 22nd Street is somewhat beautiful.  I think I will miss this place after I get to Waterloo.  22nd Street is a place where I had spent hours and hours of time waiting for buses.  It's also a place where many of my memories were gathered.  For example, this place is the place where I last saw my big brother, and said good-bye.  He is a great brother.  He always take me to 22nd Street and make sure I can get to the bus before he goes back to his house in Sperling station.  I am very fortunate to have such brother.  One is very fortunate if he/she can find a true friend who cares about him/her.  My brother...I don't know if he truly cares about me, but I do somewhat feel happy that he had helped me go through the horrible times last semester.

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Oh yes...I finally took the bus.  It is 12:50 right now.  This is perhaps my 2nd time taking the last bus that goes back to my home.  I am feeling bad about me being to late to home.  I don't think I am a bad girl, but going back home does make me guilty.  Not only do my parents worry about me, I also feel worried about my own safety as well.

And trust me, I didn't do anything bad.  I am not an outgoing person who goes to night clubs.  I don't drink...

I think I should stop typing now.  The bus is now moving...I should take a little rest before I arrive home.

Accepted the job

After a few days of my two job offers from Research In Motion, I had finally accepted one of the offers.  I still don't know if I am truly happy to leave Vancouver.  I am kind of excited, yet a bit worried how I will be when I arrive to a place I don't know.  It will be my first time leaving my parents' home.  Anyhow, I am very happy that my boyfriend wants to come with me.  Without him, I probably will not go.  I can always find a new job, but I cannot find another person like him.  I love him; I hope I can be with him till I die.

I have so many things I need to do before I leave Vancouver.  I probably need to get my passport...just in case.  I know I probably don't need it, but it's still safer to get it.  And...I need to find out about my medical insurance.  I don't think B.C. health care will insure me anymore.  I have other things to do....and I need to work hard for my school.

Anyway....I will think about it later.  When I think about all these things I need to do, it starts to drive me crazy. haha

Business Objects visit

I went to Business Objects yesterday.  The feeling was so good, as I got to meet my co-workers again.  And best of all, my boyfriend came with me as well, which made my day totally.

Although I keep having miscommunication with him, I love him so much.  Maybe his English isn't so good, but I have confidence that our communication will eventually get better.  I am looking forward to learn Korean from him as well.  I am so hoping that our language and cultural barrier will not cause us much problems.  Because of him, I will work hard to make sure things are going as smooth as possible.

Pray

I pray that I will get a job offer soon.
I don't want to worry too much....

*pray*

Relationship

Sometimes I feel so upset about my decision.  After deciding rather or not I should tell him that I love him, the logic side of me tells me this relationship might not work out.  How am I supposed to stay with him?  I will need to give up so many things .... am I ready for that scarifice?  I love him...even when our communication is very poor.  My mind tells me that we can be together... but what if he really has to go back to his country?  If I can, I want to go with him.  He might not agree, but I can't do anything else.  I will try my best...but is he ready for it?  Sometimes...I think he isn't as serious relationships as me.

Finally a day of rest

I can finally get a bit of rest....well..not that I had finished everything.  I still have an assignment due pretty soon, and I have another mditerm to study for.  However, at least I don't have to do much tomorrow, and I have the weekend to finish off everything!

Ahh...soo busy!

Anyway...I want to get a co-op job soon!  I hope I did well. ^^

Decision being made

I had been trying to make a decision rather or not I want to leave Vancouver. One of the main factors that I need to consider is how one person thinks about me (I am not going to mention who this person is for now). I talked to him about this on Monday (Thanksgiving Day), and he understood me, even when I was a bit rush on this issue. I was very surprised that he didn't get disappointed.

Thank God for everything.
I pray everything turns out good.

Busy busy busy

I didn't blog for a few days now.  I had been busy with school, work, job hunting.

I recently received three interview invitations.... I feel pretty good about the news.  I hope I can choose the company I want to work in. ^^

Gotta get back to work.  I will try to keep this blog updated.

Busy schedule

I have so much work:

• programming assignment
• group project
• midterms! (3 of them!)
• group/club meetings

in addition to these things, I also need my cousin's wedding and taekwondo...and I am not feeling well....

I need to concentrate!

Wonder Girls - Nobody

I love this song!
Wonder Girls (원더걸스) feat Jyp - Nobody (노바디)

What is love?

A few years ago, I was very active in many online forums. I met a lot of friends, and there was this friend I had talked to. He wasn't very willing to work hard. He lived off welfare. I kept telling him to work hard, and get a better life. At the end, due to many disagreements, I decided to stop talking to him.

It had been a few years...a few days ago, he sent me an e-mail. He asked me why I didn't go online for so long. I told him that our views in many things are different. I chose not to talk to him...and that's why I blocked him. I talked to him again today. He didn't change much...still a sensitive weak man. I wish I can encourage him to work hard for his future, but he doesn't listen to me. He said he loves me....but I explained to him that I only treated him as a friend. I want to lead him to a brighter future.

I wonder...what does he mean by love. How can he say "I love you" that easily? Sometimes I am a bit confused with what love is...

Anyway, it's interesting that he still remembered me. It's nice that he took his time to contact me again after so many years.

Discussion

I talked to my friend yesterday afternoon. He knows me for a long time...he is basically my "brother", so he knows how I think. He told me that I like to communicate with people a lot, but I should think about myself more. Don't get myself hurt all the time.

Now...I ask myself. Am I that kind of person? Maybe...I got hurt in August, because of my oppa brother. It took me a while to get myself back again. The most stupid thing is....is that I know I will get hurt, but I still do it. How come I didn't do anything? Should I change?

I try to be positive. I try to make the people around me happy. I don't want to ask for return. If I expect for return, I know I will get more hurt.

I talk to God a lot. Is that a test He is giving me? If I can be with a person who can stay with me forever, isn't that great? I don't want to play around with anyone. I just want to be loyal to one person. I wish I can take care of him forever. I had never cheated...or hurt anyone...how come I can't have someone who cares about me?

I don't know what I am talking about...maybe I just want to say something...

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By the way, I am sick right now. That's probably why I am typing non-sense things. hehe ^^

Went to Downtown Vancouver

I didn't really go to Downtown for a long time.

I remember the last time I went to Downtown was visiting my old co-workers at Business Objects. Back then, I grabbed a lot of cookies and food from the old co-ops. *^_^*

Downtown gave me some memories. It makes me think about my time when I worked everyday, and had regular meetings. I was respected by all employees there, even when I was just a co-op student. Great times great times!

Another memory....is when I used to eat with my friends in different restaurants, but I didn't do that for a long time!

Anyway, this time, I went to Downtown to meet my new friend. He is a nice and intelligent person. I like him a lot. hehe

Volunteering

It had been a dreadful day for me to volunteer today. I was kind of sick already, and I had to wake up at 6:00am so I could take the bus and arrive school before 8:00am. Furthermore, I needed to attend a 3 hour class at 5:30pm. I was basically brain dead by the time my class had started.

I met a lot of new people: students, employers, staff, etc. I am really tired right now, but everything was worth it.

I think I am going to sleep soon, as I have to do the same thing for tomorrow....except this time, I will need to work at Kumon at 2:00pm. ^^

Searching for the one

Yes...I do want a long-term relationship, but I can't just choose anyone who loves me, shouldn't I?

After all these years, I still find it hard to find someone whom I love, and he loves me back. Yes...I have lots of male friends, but we are just friends... I really want to find my true love. Where is he? Can someone tell me? I feel like I had wondered around in my life...searching for my love, yet he is hiding from me.

I know I shouldn't just be with someone who loves me, but I don't love him back. It's just not fair for him.

Sometimes I am very tired. I wonder if I will ever find my special one. Is he in Vancouver? I wish I can meet him soon. I will take care of him, cook for him, love him, cherish him. I know it sounds a bit exergerating, but I think I can really do it. We will form a really good family..and be happy forever. ^^

Homework time

I need to do my homework now...

I hate assignments, because it forces me to work.  I don't know why, but I feel a lot more motivated when I am working on an actual job, such a co-op.  My work buddy used to tell me to relax, and have fun....but I just continued working.

How come I can't do that at home?  I need to get started soon!

Happy birthday, mom

Today is my mom's birthday.  Too bad she needs to work..or we can celebrate for a while. 
Dad said we are going to have a special dinner with her tonight.

Something missing

September 17th...I can't believe it had been 15 days since school had started.

Many things had kept me busy, such as volunteering, taekwondo, school, job search, family, friends, etc.  However, I still feel like I am missing a part of myself.  I am not too sure what I am missing, but I really need to do something about it.

My life changed a lot since last semester.  I became a much quieter person...probably due to the fact that I have a really busy schedule this semester.  Or maybe it's because oppa can't keep in touch with me anymore.  Oh well..

I don't know what to say right now.  All I know is that I really want to write something down, so I come here.  Sometimes I love to write...for no reason.  Blogging is the best place for me....especially when I don't need to check my grammar and spellings..haha!

And I can probably write a bit of Chinese if I want...哈哈(haha)！

I had stopped learning Hangul for a while, but I should return to this task soon...  I was just a bit stressed out in the past few days... not too sure why.

Memory of my cat

It had been a year since my cat died. I miss it a lot. I wish I can pet and take care of it again. I wonder where it is right now..I hope it is really happy with God.

I don't know what else I can say about this. I am supposed to be happy today, since today is one of the most important Chinese holidays, but I really don't have the mood to celebrate.

My dear cat, I wish you are happy. I wish you are free from troubles and sadness. No matter where you are, I am always thinking about you.

What I did for the past few days

I didn't blog for a while. Life had been more busy than expected. I signed up for a few volunteering positions, and applied for a few job postings that I found online. I need to start reviewing for the things I had learned from school lectures. yeah....a lot of things for me to do.

Taekwondo training had been going ok. A lot of muscle tearing...I guess..haha

I had so many things in my head these days: school, work, friends, future...you know what I am thinking.

I need to work harder....there are always things for me to do. Keep it up!

Next stage of life

The weather is getting much cooler....
I can no longer wear my skirts outdoor...
I start to miss Summer...or more like the events happened during the season.

I feel like I am entering the next stage of my life. I can no longer just focus on studies, and nothing else. I also have to think my future, such as where I will be, and whom I will be with.

I need to finish writing a resume and cover letter this afternoon. Hopefully, I can get a job soon.

And these days, I start to like kids a lot more. Isn't that nice if I have my own child? =)

And oh yes...happy mid-autumn festival! =)

Sore muscle and job hunting

Since the day I volunteered for SFU orientation, I did so many things that kept getting me sore muscles: moving many drums to the convocation mall, moving materials for my boss in Kumon, moving the stacks of books I have to my room, practicing Taekwondo.

It seems like I got sore muscle each time I just recovered....isn't that cool? hahahaha... Maybe it's because I didn't really exercise for so long, and now I keep doing all these exercises...my body doesn't seem to able to get used to it. Anyway, I think my body will get used to it soon.

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As for job hunting, I had started the process officially. There are so many things that I need to do for the next few days...haha

I will do it slowly and steadily. =)

Personality test result

I just took a Jung Typology test from an online site. It involved with 72 questions, and here goes my result:

Your Type is
INFJ

Introverted	Intuitive	Feeling	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
56	88	38	11

You are:

• moderately expressed introvert
  
• very expressed intuitive personality
  
• moderately expressed feeling personality
  
• slightly expressed judging personality

Umm...seriously, should I really believe it?

I am an idealist Portrait of the Counselor?
The result says this:

Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.

Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.

Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

And here is another link that talks about it: http://typelogic.com/infj.html
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INFJ


Funny thing is....I got similar results in the past from taking similar personality tests. And it's true that I had done a lot of counseling for people I know...but it doesn't mean this job really suits me right?

I am so tired

I am soo tired....I don't know why.
My back is hurting me....arggggh
I hate it when it happens.

Back to school

School started this Tuesday. I don't have any special feelings about school. I guess the main reason is that I never really had a summer break, so it didn't matter to me.

One thing that made this semester so different from the past semesters is that I no longer really study with anyone. I feel so lonely...but then, maybe it's a good thing. At least I can concentrate more on my work, and not on some useless things.

For those of you who read this blog, you may notice that I had started to blog a lot more. This is not intentional, actually. I just blog whenever I have something to say, and I can't say to anyone. This is my "stress/sadness release area". haha

I want to say something happy, but I really have nothing to say. Maybe there is nothing exciting for me to share.

I need to do a lot of company researches soon. =) Maybe I can keep you updated on that one.

And as always, I miss oppa a lot. =O

Right Here Waiting

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Oppa just made me upset again.

Oppa upset me so much today. He ignored me again....
If he is busy....at least he should let me know. Oh well...I am a bit used to that already. When I am not on the computer, he get pissed that I don't reply him right away, but when I am on the computer, and want to talk to him, he never replies me right away. Aaaahh....it drives me nuts. Why should I care so much about him? I don't even know what I am doing....

Martial art

I had enrolled myself to a martial art school this morning. Life is going to be a bit more busy for me. In addition to school, I will be doing my current part-time job, my new volunteering job, martial job. If I still have time, I also want to gain some cooking skills.

I am regaining health these days. I think I will return to my Hangul learning really soon. I shouldn't slack off at this time. =)

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I talked to Oppa for a while tonight. He made me realize that I still miss the things we did together. Too bad I can't do that anymore with him anymore. I miss him a lot..a lot..a lot. I wish I can express how I feel to him.

Life change

This is my 400th post in this blog in Blogger!

Isn't it time to celebrate? I created this blog in November 2005, but I started writing in this blog in January 2006. It had been over 2 years already. My life had changed a lot! I remember....when I first wrote in this blog, it was mainly about my relationship with Kevin (I called him Duckie). This blog's name was "Duckie Love", but I changed the name to "Kitty Life" around two years ago, and I changed it again to "I Love My Life" around a year ago.

My focus in life had changed. I was so happy with my love life a long time ago, but my relationship disappointed me again and again. If you take your time to read my old blog entries, you will probably learn how I struggle with my relationship with Kevin. He was my love, my friend, my listener. He was always so patient with me. However, I also learned that we can never be happy together. Not only is that a problem between the two of us, it is also a problem between two families. Anyway, and so....since it made me so upset, I didn't really talk about this problem anymore. Instead of writing about my love, I wrote about what I did at school and work. I also wrote about how I worked hard at school so I could get into the Faculty of Business. In addition, I also wrote about my co-op life.

Recently, I also wrote about Chinese, Korean, Japanese, and English songs I love to listen to. I want to share my joy to readers, instead of just bringing sorrow to people. I love sharing thoughts, or maybe writing random things.

And I got to meet Oppa again last semester. I wrote about him...as he entered my life when I started sharing my sorrows with him in May 2008. I know him for more than two years, but I didn't really talk to him much after a course that I took with him ended. I saw him occasionally at school, such as on a web application fair session I had for CMPT 470 with Greg Baker. I talked to him for a while in the information fair, but that was about it. I know more about him in the conversation with Kevin, knowing Kevin always get annoyed by Oppa. Anyway, in May 2008, I started to talk to Oppa a lot more. He became my .... I don't know who he is ... but anyway, he became someone I really care about, and someone close to me (brother? friend?).

Life changed sooo much... now Oppa has gone back to Korea. I can't really write anything about him anymore. Sometimes I am not too sure what he is doing, but I do think about him. All I know is that he is trying hard in his job hunting, and I will be doing the same thing for the next couple of months. I wish I can see him again, but I don't know if that will ever happen.

Until someone comes to my life, I guess my blog will be related to my school life, and job hunting. haha

+++

I guess my stories are starting to bore you guys....I will share a song with you.

Kurumi - Mr.Children

Mr.Children - くるみ

作詩：Kazutoshi Sakurai 作曲：Kazutoshi Sakurai

ねぇ　くるみ
この街の景色は君の目にどう映るの?
今の僕はどう見えるの?

ねぇ　くるみ
誰かの優しさも皮肉に聞こえてしまうんだ
そんな時はどうしたらいい?

良かった事だけ思い出して
やけに年老いた気持ちになる
とはいえ暮らしの中で
今　動き出そうとしている
歯車のひとつにならなくてはなぁ
希望の数だけ失望は増える
それでも明日に胸は震える
「どんな事が起こるんだろう?」
想像してみるんだよ

ねぇ　くるみ
時間が何もかも洗い連れ去ってくれれば
生きる事は実に容易い

ねぇ　くるみ
あれからは一度も涙は流してないよ
でも　本気で笑う事も少ない

どこかで掛け違えてきて
気が付けば一つ余ったボタン
同じようにして誰かが　持て余したボタンホールに
出会う事で意味が出来たならいい
出会いの数だけ別れは増える
それでも希望に胸は震える
十字路に出くわすたび
迷いもするだろうけど

今以上をいつも欲しがるくせに
変わらない愛を求め歌う
そうして歯車は回る
この必要以上の負担に
ギシギシ鈍い音をたてながら
希望の数だけ失望は増える
それでも明日に胸は震える
「どんな事が起こるんだろう?」
想像してみよう
出会いの数だけ別れは増える
それでも希望に胸は震える
引き返しちゃいけないよね
進もう　君のいない道の上へ

Translation:

tell me, Kurumi
What do you see looking at this city
How do I look to you now?

tell me, Kurumi
When I start to hear the sarcasm in someone's kindness
What am I to do?

Remembering only the good times
though it makes me feel like I've aged a sum
But you gotta be one of the gears
trying to get turning
You can have only as much despair as you have hope.
but still, my heart trembles at the thought of the future
'what's going to happen?'
I try to imagine.

tell me, Kurumi
If time will eventually wash it all away
then life must be a simple affair.

tell me, Kurumi
since then I haven't cried once
but, neither have I had many good laughs

Somewhere I did up the buttons wrong,
by the time I notice, there's one button leftover
and similarly one button hole, in need of a button
If you find meaning in finding someone then fine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
still my heart trembles at the thought of hope.
everytime I encounter a crossroads
I'll fret over which way to go but...

Eventhough I want more than I have now
I sing for an unchanging love
that's what makes the gears turn
with the burden of more than I need,
making a dull grinding sound
you can have only as much despair as you do hope
and still my heart trembles
at the thought of the future
"what's going to happen?"
let's imagine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
and still my heart trembles at the thought of hope
guess there's no turning back,
so I'll go on, to a road without you.

Credit: http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/5844/mrchildren/kurumi.html

BOBJ visit

As mentioned in the previous blog entry, I had gone to visit the old co-workers in Business Objects. It was pretty fun, but too bad I got to go home...so I couldn't stay for too long.

I wonder when I will see everyone again...

People come and go in my life.... One day, I will see them again. ;)

Orientation

Just worked two days for SFU orientation and Kumon.
That's why I was a bit too busy to blog here....
I don't have a lot of nice photos to share, but if you want to see the ones I took, please visit my Facebook profile.

I finished watching 最美麗的第七天 two days ago. I don't know if I have more time to watch more episodes...but I will see.

I will be going to Business Objects to visit my old friends, so I will blog more later. ;)

Oh yeah...a good music video to show you...ending theme song for 最美麗的第七天.


抱著空氣
By Kevin Cheng & Niki Chow


Introduction video to the episode..

Loneliness...

Working made me feel a bit better...
After all, it made me focus on the students, instead of whatever I am thinking about...

Tomorrow, everyone goes to work again. Why am I always left alone? I guess I will go somewhere alone...

Perhaps it will be better for my body...

I wonder why I get tired so easily, and my backache is killing me...

+++

Someone might ask me what I am doing these days....I can let you know, I really did nothing. I don't feel like doing anything. If I am feeling well, of course I want to continue learning my Hangul stuff, but I had been feeling really dizzy, so what did I do? I dug up my favorite episodes and started watching them.

Here is what I watched...

Title: 最美麗的第七天
Cantonese/Mandarin Title: Jui Mei Lai Dik Dai Chat Tin / Zui Mei Li De Di Qi Tian
Starring: 鄭嘉穎 (Kevin Cheng)、周麗淇 (Niki Chow)、黃宗澤 (Bosco Wong)、唐詩詠 (Natalie Tong)、李詩韻 (Selena Li)、姚子羚 (Elaine Yiu)、李思欣 (Charmaine Li)、何綺雲 (Yvonne Ho)、
徐淑敏 (Suki Chui)、商天娥 (Kiki Sheung)、劉　丹 (Lau Dan)、于　洋 (Yu Yang)

I think the English name of this is called The Seventh Day, but if you ask me to translate the Chinese title directly, I will call it "The Most Beautiful Seventh Day". Anyway....It's a really good love story.

I am so scared

I am so afraid that I will lose oppa forever. He never replied my e-mails... I know he doesn't send me e-mails unless he has to, but still....I still wish I can get some sorts of replies from him.

I wonder if he wants to ignore me forever, or is he just too busy with his own life. He promised me that he will take care of me forever.... but why is he ignoring me? =(

I am so scared...I am so worried. I feel so weak right now. My body doesn't feel right at the moment, and he is not here. =( I don't know what I should do...

Where is Oppa?

I am here again....I don't know who I can talk to right now...

Oppa is not here....I miss oppa...or maybe I am the one being stupid. Oppa doesn't want to be with me. Even if he wants to, we can never be together. I wish I can find him; I wish I can be with him...but perhaps this is just my little dream.

Perhaps Oppa is right. I can only see him again on my marriage day... soo sad... =(

I don't want to lose him too....where is he right now? =(

Oh well...maybe keeping me busy next semester is a good thing. At least I don't have to think too much again...

Kevin and Me

All along, even when I can't be with Kevin, we kept in touch...but I realized that I couldn't even do that. What he did to me in the past gave me too much pain. Every time I think about that, I felt like I want to kill myself.

I phoned him this morning...telling him that I will never see him and talk to him again. I will lose contact with him forever. Of course, I cannot forget him forever, but I am not going to keep thinking about him again.

There were too many problems....and none of them can be solved with just talks...

Lets forget about it... I feel like I should be responsible for what I did in the past few months anyway.

Love and relationship

These days, I kept thinking to myself what love really is.

When I tell a person I love him/her, what does it really mean? I can tell you that it's really about giving care and heart to the person...not just about receiving from that particular person.

Of course, it's always nice to have something back in return, but it's hard.

In these few months, I really love this person (I think you can guess who I am talking about), but he doesn't want to do anything. Yes...we are different, but so? Everyone is different anyway. I accept all his faults, but he really minds. Now he is gone...but it doesn't stop me from thinking about him. Even if he doesn't talk to me, I still think about him. I find it hard to describe how I feel...it's a feeling that I never had before. I love him not because of how he treated me in the past, but I do really love him. Not matter how hard I tried to explain, he doesn't understand.

If he is another person I know...isn't that much better? At least he wants me to stay with him...at least he wants me to go with him to Korea. At least he says that he wants to have a family with me... love is so complicated... why can't the person I love appreciate how I feel about him?

I feel so hurt these days. How can I act like I am ok? He totally rejected me... He never tried to be with me. Is it really a cultural difference that caused the problem? I don't believe it. I can learn, but I know he doesn't believe in that anymore. It hurts me so bad... I don't dare to say anything, because I will hurt him again if I say it. I miss him...a lot, and a lot more.

I don't mind if he has no money, doesn't have a job...or whatever bad things he has in the past. I just don't understand why I never got a chance. He told me to "free" myself, and he even said that he will only see me when I get married. Why does he have to be so cruel to me? I am just a person? If I love a person, it's so hard to change. Should I wait for him to change his mind? or will he even change his mind? What if he never talks to me again? Should I even wait for him if I never get to see him or talk to him again?

If he only knows how true I am to him, maybe life will get a bit better. =(

Guitar playing

This boy (named Sungha Jung) plays really good! The above videos are just a few ones that his dad recorded for him...

Random thoughts..

I went out to Metrotown with Kinki yesterday. The time was great. Not only could I meet my best friend who I started knowing since I was in grade 6, it also stopped me from thinking too much on my problems.

+++

Err...I forgot what I wanted to say...stupid. I just come back from a phone call...from my brother.
Anyway...I will make up something to say...

+++

Anyway, let me type something in Chinese using my limited pinyin ability. hahaha
I didn't study my Hangeul stuff for a day....since I went out yesterday and I will go out again today. I guess I will return to my studies tonight...if I have enough energy. ^^

今個星期日，我表哥和他家人會來我家談話和派請貼。。。
表哥結婚啦！ 哈哈哈。。。我想我應該為他開心才是
但是，唔知點解，我一點感覺都沒有。。。
可能是因為我從來都沒有跟他說話，他是我得長輩，所以很難跟他說話。再說，他比我大十一年唷！

Job hunt

I was very happy to know that Oppa got a chance to get a job...when he told me that he will have a short job interview. I don't know why I feel so happy for him, even though I know that also means he will not have time to talk to me anymore. Anyway, I still feel happy for him. I guess that's part of caring or loving him.

+++

I wish I can find a job soon. It's so hard to find a job...especially when I am being picky at the moment. It's still early for me to apply. Anyway, I am still going to try. If I can land myself one, then I don't need to do co-op anymore. =)

Missing Oppa

I continue to miss Oppa these days, but I need to focus on my work....
I admire how Oppa can concentrate on his work...maybe he is a man..and I am not. Don't people agree that men focus work more than on relationships than women? haha

I am quite happy that I got to talk to Oppa for a while. Even if it was only around 30 minutes; I was very happy that he was online. =)

Anyway....time for some random photos...

My brother, dad, and me chipped in to get Canon SD1100 IS for my mom for her birthday. The above photo is her camera stacked up with my own cameras...and my two textbooks on top of the camera boxes. =P

My phone placed on top of my bag with my brown dress.

Activity brainstorming

I don't know what I did these days... so I guess I will do a bit of brainstorming here.

• Watched some YouTube videos (mostly random ones, and a few ones from the Star King TV show)
• Did a bit of back-up for my old laptop...but not much.
• Went out with my family...it's more of a family day...since I rarely go out with my parents.
• Walked with my dad to a place where we would always choose to drive there instead.
• Chatted with my friends in WLM (Windows Live Messenger)
• Applied for a few jobs, but I didn't get any answer yet. I hope I can get a job soon!
• Went to Oppa's house, and moved his books to my house. Speaking of Oppa, I miss him a lot...a lot...a lot.
  
• Shot some photos, but nothing too special...
• Spent a lot of time on Facebook...I think I am kind of addicted to it. I will not do that when school starts, so let me play wildly for a while..haha

I guess that's all...

Now...I guess you can enjoy what I had been listening to lately... =)

Big Bang - 하루하루

Small update

Just a small update before I go to sleep tonight.

After Oppa left Canada, I had been busy ...ordering textbooks, finding jobs, studying for final. I think I was too tired last week, and as the result, I messed up the entire Scantron sheet for my business course. lol...it's funny, but my grade will suffer. Now I know I am really an idiot. XD

Anyway, nothing really special...besides the fact that I really want to keep in touch with Oppa. The fact that he is never online, and never replied my e-mails made me a bit disappointed. However, if he is busy, I will support whatever he is doing...

I am going to sleep now....too tired. I slept at around 6 o'clock yesterday...maybe I should say this morning, and woke up at 9 o'clock in the morning. haha....am I just crazy?

One of my textbooks with my camera.

Last day seeing oppa

Today marked the last day for me to see oppa before he returns to Korea.

It was really sad for me to accept this, and I had even thought about what would happen on our last departure a few days ago.

Well....today, it happened when oppa walked with me to 22nd Street SkyTrain station to wait for the 410 bus. I really wished the time could just freeze there. I wish I could see him more, but I also realized that there is no such thing as "forever".

At the second I turned my back toward oppa to take the 410 bus, my tears started to come out. I really couldn't control my emotion, as I kept thinking about the time we had together...good or bad. I only started to feel a bit better 10 minutes after I returned home. Luckily there was no one at the house, or else my family would think I got hurt by someone.

Anyway...I am happy that I can keep in touch with oppa in the future. I wish that when oppa comes to Canada for a visit (next time), I have ability to make him the most special guest/visitor. =)

Study...

Umm....studying with my things on the floor..

Keeping busy

By keeping myself busy, I don't have to think too much about not able to see Oppa again...However, it doesn't mean I don't care about him. I care about him a lot. Sometimes it worries me that he doesn't eat in a regular basis. I know he doesn't listen to me, but it doesn't make me stop telling him to eat...

I want to see Oppa, but it seems like an impossible task by now. I don't know how many days are left before he leaves Canada.

Anyway, busy busy busy....a lot of reading, and I hope I have enough time to study.

I just realized there is a screenshot feature on my phone yesterday...so here you go. Something to show you. =)

I am a weak girl

I can't believe my tears came out in front of oppa today. (this is probably my third time doing that.... first time: more than a month ago in surrey campus; second time: two days ago in his room; third time: today in burnaby campus)
It happened when he said he doesn't want to see me anymore before I get married.

Of course I know what he is thinking, but I still don't want to accept it. I don't want to understand it, as it really hurts me every time I think about it.

It's not like I am not trying to understand him. I had asked people; I had read things online. The thing is...I know that if I don't see him now, I might not see him again. Even if I get to see him again a few years from now, things will be so different. I have my own family; he has his own. We can't be as close anymore... I don't know when I can see him again, ...this is the only time when I get to joke around him, fooling around with him like real brother and sister.

I imagine that...when he really finally comes to see me when I get married, he will not treat me the same way. I sometimes wonder if we will treat each other like strangers. Maybe I will not treat him this way, but I don't know how oppa thinks of me in the future.

I cannot believe and accept the fact that I don't have a lot of chances to see him again. I might had hurt him a lot, but honestly, I rather have myself hurt than seeing him getting hurt.

I am a bad girl...I had hurt oppa so many times. I really don't want to do it...but I don't know why I do this again and again...which makes my relationship with oppa worse and worse. I wish oppa will really understand this. I wish I can change this to make our lives go a bit easier, but I know he can't wait for me. Changes take time...

Maybe I should stop talking about this...writing about this makes my tears come out again.

+++

Honestly, I changed a lot since four years ago. Four years ago, I was always cheerful, happy. I had worried about my future, but I always got things under my control.

Now...relationship seems to be the biggest challenge of my life. I really have problems dealing with people, especially men. I don't seem to understand what they want, and what they think. There are times when I say that really hurt them, and I know that. I should really watch what I say...but if I don't say it, sometimes I feel like I will explode. I think I try to control myself too much that there is no time for me to "release" myself.

+++

There is another thing I am worrying about...but I guess I will stop worrying and know the result in a few weeks...
And if you are wondering what I am talking about right now, don't ask me. I don't want to talk about what I am worrying right now. The person related to this topic had already been notified, and so I don't see the point why more people want to know about this...


P.S. Sorry for my bad English grammar and structure. I don't really want to proofread this before I publish this...

HSBC Celebration of Light - USA

I managed to watch the USA fireworks with my mom. Well, actually...I went to the Burrard skytrain station with oppa, then he went to find his "kids". I left him to find my mom. =)

I didn't take a lot of photos, as I forgot to bring my dad's tripod with me!

Oh well, I will take better photos next time. =)

Can't concentrate

近日來都無法集中地做好每一件事情。。。

開始覺得自己好對唔住自己。。。
太多嘢想唔係一件好事!唔好再想啦，好唔好？

Better start studying

I need to do so many things...

• getting a job
• studying
• finishing up my homework/assignments/projects

argggh...this is driving me crazy.

Too much work...

It's time for me to complain again.

I have too much work..which leads to a lot of stress.

First of all, I really need to get all my group work finished.

And oh yeah, I also need to look for a full-time job. I applied for two jobs so far, but since I can only start working in January 2009, I don't have a lot of hope for it. However, I am still hoping... =)

I think I will start to apply for more jobs after my current semester is done! =)

Fireworks

I want to go to fireworks too.... =(

Too bad I can't go there.... =(

Too sick to do any clean up

In the last few days, I was too sick to clean up my bed. As the result...

My bed

My room

hahaha...I will clean it up when I am healthy again. =)

Bed time

In these few days, I spent a large amount of my time on my bed. My back hurts so much, and I am not feeling well.

Going to school these days is a challenge for me.

I am actually on my bed right now typing on my phone.

Which kid do you like?

Declan Galbraith - Tell Me Why


Connie Talbot - Three Little Birds

Don't Leave Don't Leave

This is the recent song I had been listening to. I love this song too.

Love you 'til I die

Because of a man

I’ve lost my way
I’ve lost count of how many times
I’ve faltered before love
Every time I act like this,
I’ll probably find another person and rest on them
But this time, I don’t want to do that
I can’t live like this any longer

-__-!!

다 아는데 난 아닌데
그래도 놓치기 싫은데

Feeling ok

I might look like I am feeling ok, but I am not....

Like A Child

Another song that I love recently.

+++++

김동률 - 아이처럼
Kim Dong-Ryul - Like A Child

사랑한다 말하고 날 받아줄때엔
After telling you love me When you accept me
더이상 나는 바랄게 없다고 자신있게 말해놓고
I say to myself confidently that I have nothing else I need
자라나는 욕심에 무안해지지만
Although I feel worried With my growing greed
또 하루종일 그대의 생각에 난 맘 졸여요
Thinking about you all day and night

샘이 많아서 (아이처럼)
I have alot of tears (like a child)
겁이 많아서 (바보처럼)
I have alot of fears (like a fool)
이렇게 나의 곁에서 우는게 믿어지지가 않아서
I can't believe that right now you are near smiling at me
너무 좋아서 너무 벅차서
I am so happy that it's overwhelming to me
눈을 뜨면 다 사라질까봐
I fear that when i open my eyes Everything will disappear
잠 못들어요
I can't fall asleep

주고 싶은데 (내 모든걸)
I want to give you (everything)
받고 싶은데 (그대 맘을)
I want to feel (your heart)
남들처럼 할 수 있는건 다 함께 나누고 싶은데
Like others I want to share everything with you
맘이 급해서 속이 좁아서
I feel anxious I became envy
괜시리 모두 망치게 될까봐
Like everything will disappeared
불안해하죠
I feel worried

웃게 해줘서 (아이처럼)
Laugh in front of me (like a child)
울게 해줘서 (바보처럼)
Cry in my hug (like a fool)
이런 설렘을 평생에 또 한번 느낄 수 있게 해줘서
Let me feel the love again in my life
믿게 해줘서 힘이 되줘서
Please believe me Give me strength
눈을 뜨면 처음으로 하는 말 참 고마워요
When I open my eyes The first word I want to say is
참 고마워요
Thank you so much

내게 와줘서 꿈꾸게 해줘서
You are here by my side Like a dream
우리라는 선물을 준 그대
Its you who give “US” as a present
나 사랑해요
I love you

Change of my desire

Talking to different people from different cultural backgrounds makes me think that the area I am living right now is so small. I wish I can get out of Vancouver and explore!

My goal right now is to finish my remaining semesters, then do co-op outside Vancouver (if I have a chance),. If not...Vancouver is fine too.

After I graduate from SFU, I will see if I can apply for a job outside Canada. My preferred places are going to be France, Germany, Japan, and Korea. Not only do I want to get more experience, I wish I can learn more about their cultures (and the language), and of course know more people!

The only concerns I have are that I will be alone when I get to a new country, and I will miss my family and my friends a lot.

I told my parents about this. My mom didn't seem to disagree with what I am thinking. Maybe she finally realizes that I am growing up. I know she used to argue that I couldn't take care of myself last year. There is finally a change. ^__^

As for my education (master or GDBA program), I am still going to do it. However, I really want to know what I really like first. If I really end up getting a job outside Canada, I will wait till I get back to Canada before I do my GDBA. I want to spend more time learning the new culture.

I didn't do what I had promised

I was gonna update this site, but I have too many things to do, so I guess I will try to write something here tomorrow.

I am going to sleep now....

Love

He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing understands nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless. But he who understands also loves, notices, sees... The more knowledge is inherent in a thing, the greater the love... Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes.

- Paracelsus

I am sooo sleepy!

I am soo sleepy. Debugging the stupid program is a waste of time...

I am going to sleep now..

I will update this blog again in the weekend.

Tell Me

Another song I want to share. I love this song! hahahaa

Korean

너도 날 좋아할 줄은 몰랐어
어쩌면 좋아 너무나 좋아
꿈만 같아서 나 내자신을 자꾸
꼬집어봐 너무나 좋아
네가 날 혹시 안 좋아할까봐 혼자 얼마나 애태운지 몰라
그런데 너도 날 사랑한다니
어머나 다시 한 번 말해봐

Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
나를 사랑한다고 날 기다려왔다고
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
내가 필요하다 말해 말해줘요
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
자꾸만 듣고 싶어 계속 내게 말해줘
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
꿈이 아니라고 말해 말해줘요


어쩜 내 가슴이 이렇게 뛰니
가슴이 정말 터질 것 같아
네가 날 볼 때면 전기에 감전된 사람처럼 전기가 올라
얼마나 오래 기다린지 몰라
얼마나 오래 꿈꿨는지 몰라
그런데 네가 날 사랑한다니
어머나 다시 한 번 말해봐

Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
나를 사랑한다고 날 기다려왔다고
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
내가 필요하다 말해 말해줘요
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
자꾸만 듣고 싶어 계속 내게 말해줘
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
꿈이 아니라고 말해 말해줘요

tell me, tell me, tell me you want me,
want me, want me too
Tell me, tell me, tell me
you love me too, love me too

Hit me one time baby
다시 한 번(Tell me Tell me)
Okay 방금한 근 알지만 또 한 번(Tell me T-Tell me)
Yeah
계속 말해줘 들어도
들어도 듣고 싶어
어쯤 일언이지
꼼인가 싶어
(어머나) 어머나 좋아서 어쩌나
다시 한 번 말해봐
Baby Baby

Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
나를 사랑한다고 날 기다려왔다고
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
내가 필요하다 말해 말해줘요
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
자꾸만 듣고 싶어 계속 내게 말해줘
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
꿈이 아니라고 말해 말해줘요


Tell me tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Tell Me

Translation:


I did not know you to like me.
I feel so good, Oh so good.
I thought it was a dream
Maybe I should pinch my cheeks, I just feel so good.

I thought maybe you didn't like me.
I spent nights pondering about it
But now I know that you like me
Oh my, tell me again

Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
that you love me, that you waited for me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Tell me that you need me, tell me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
I want to hear more keep on telling me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Say that it is not a dream, tell me.

I dont know why my heart is beating so much
My chest is about to burst
When you see me
I feel like a person shocked with electricity

I don't know how long I've been waiting
I don't know how long I've been dreaming.
But now I know that you love me
Oh my, tell me again

(Chorus)
(Bridge) *the strange man's voices DO NOT translate to anything.

tell me, tell me, tell me you
want me, want me, want me too
Tell me, tell me, tell me you
love me too, love me too

I thought maybe you didn't like me.
I spent nights pondering about it
But now I know that you like me
Oh my, tell me again

Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
that you love me, that you waited for me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Tell me that you need me, tell me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
I want to hear more keep on telling me
Tell me tell me
Tell tell tell tell tell tell me
Say that it is not a dream, tell me.
tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me
[credits: Tanuka]

Balloooons!

I got so many balloons at SFU yesterday after I finished volunteering for the Open House 2008 event.

Unfortunately, my monkey balloon was murdered. =(

This photo was taken before it was murdered(It was killed when I was doing the tour guide in the limo bus).

This is a turtle bracelet from one of my teammates. ;)

婚禮進行曲

作詞：胡彥斌　作曲：胡彥斌

所有故事停止撕開了幸福偽裝
雙手在我耳邊頭又在不停搖晃
我被俘虜多年　且愛上的是上當
謝謝妳讓我成長　我最愛的姑娘

妳的真實謊言把我攔在城外
我只能雙手放開無奈　無奈
把最後的疼愛做成了西裝
拱手讓它穿在了別人身上

※噹噹噹噹　噹噹噹噹
　這婚禮怎麼那麼悲傷　我流著淚雙手使勁鼓掌
　噹噹噹噹　噹噹噹噹
　我聽到愛情鐘聲在響　一杯又一杯喝醉了
　我才會變得高尚

昨天晚上妳緊靠在我的胸膛
對我說你最勇敢你最棒
今天妳卻挽著別人的臂膀
走上了人生的紅毯殿堂

Such a lovely song!


I might try to translate the lyrics later.

Studying UniverCity

I can't believe I need to study for volunteering...

-___-!!

I need to do more volunteering tomorrow, so I guess I will post more later. ;)

Time to go sleep!

I listened to this song too many times

I think I start to be able to memorize the Korean song that I had posted in the previous blog entry.

I love this song. ^^

Kiss - Because I'm A Girl

도대체 알수가 없어 남자들의 마음
Do-dae-che Ar-su-ga Eobs-eo Nam-ja-deur-ui Ma-eum
원할땐 언제고 다주니 이젠 떠난데
Won-har-ttaen Eon-je-go Da-ju-ni I-jen Tteo-nan-de
이런적 처음이라고
I-reon-jeog Cheo-eum-i-ra-go
너는 특별하다는 그 말을 믿었어
Neo-neun Teug-byeor-ha-da-neun Geu Mar-eur Mid-eoss-eo

내겐 행복이었어
Nae-gen Haeng-bog-i-eoss-eo
말을 하지 그랬어 내가 싫어 졌다고
Mar-eur Ha-ji Geu-raess-eo Nae-ga Sirh-eo Jyeoss-da-go
눈치가 없는 난 늘 보채기만 했어
Nun-chi-ga Eobs-neun Nan Neur Bo-chae-gi-man Haess-eo
너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야
Neo-reur Yog-ha-myeon-seo-do Manh-i Geu-ri-ur-kkeo-ya
사랑이 전부인 나는 여자이니까
Sa-rang-i Jeon-bu-in Na-neun Yeo-ja-i-ni-kka

모든걸 쉽게 다주면 금방 싫증내는게
Mo-deun-geor Swib-ge Da-ju-myeon Geum-bang Sirh-jeung-nae-neun-ge
남자라 들었어 틀린말 같진 않아
Nam-ja-ra Deur-eoss-eo Teur-rin-mar Gat-jin Anh-a
다시는 속지 않으리 마음 먹어 보지만
Da-si-neun Sog-ji Anh-eu-ri Ma-eum Meog-eo Bo-ji-man
또 다시 사랑에 무너지는게 여자야
Tto Da-si Sa-rang-e Mu-neo-ji-neun-ge Yeo-ja-ya

말을 하지 그랬어 내가 싫어 졌다고
Mar-eur Ha-ji Geu-raess-eo Nae-ga Sirh-eo Jyeoss-da-go
눈치가 없는 난 늘 보채기만 했어
Nun-chi-ga Eobs-neun Nan Neur Bo-chae-gi-man Haess-eo
너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야
Neo-reur Yog-ha-myeon-seo-do Manh-i Geu-ri-ur-kkeo-ya
사랑이 전부인 나는 여자이니까
Sa-rang-i Jeon-bu-in Na-neun Yeo-ja-i-ni-kka

사랑을 위해서라면 모든 다 할수 있는
Sa-rang-eur Wi-hae-seo-ra-myeon Mo-deun Da Har-su Iss-neun
여자의 착한 본능을 이용하지는 말아줘
Yeo-ja-ui Chag-han Bon-neung-eur I-yong-ha-ji-neun Mar-a-jwo

한여자로 태어나 사랑받고 사는게
Han-yeo-ja-ro Tae-eo-na Sa-rang-bad-go Sa-neun-ge
이렇게 힘들고 어려울줄 몰랐어
I-reoh-ge Him-deur-go Eo-ryeo-ur-jur Mor-rass-eo
너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야
Neo-reur Yog-ha-myeon-seo-do Manh-i Geu-ri-ur-kkeo-ya
사랑이 전부인 나는 여자 이니까
Sa-rang-i Jeon-bu-in Na-neun Yeo-ja I-ni-kka
너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야
Neo-reur Yog-ha-myeon-seo-do Manh-i Geu-ri-ur-kkeo-ya
사랑이 전부인 나는 여자 이니까.
Sa-rang-i Jeon-bu-in Na-neun Yeo-ja I-ni-kka.

Translation: http://linuxct.blogspot.com/2005/01/kiss-because-im-girl-korean-lyrics-and.html

Fixing my printer

Last week, I was fixing my printer. As the result, I printed over 20 sheets of test pages from my PC laptop.

Here is the result. XD

My printer and the Windows XP printer test page papers.

My home network

We have a new router at home, and it's funded by me, my brother and my dad.

Actually, we had been using it for the past 3 weeks, but it wasn't so stable until these few days. I had been changing a lot of settings, and doing a lot of testing to enhance the speed of our home network.

This router is to replace our old one that didn't seem to work properly in the past few months.

My new router with blue lights for signals.

The device beside this new white router is the old router (not powered at the time I took the photo).

Another set of random pictures

I had promised a few weeks back that I will upload some random photos. Well...here you go. I decide to keep them small, as I don't want to waste too much of my online web space. If you want a bigger version of the photo, please let me know. ;)

Well, lets start off with this baby tree. I got this plant from my co-op job. Business Objects was promoting being green, so the company gave every employee a tree to take home. My baby tree is getting much taller already. The tree probably doubled its height in the past few months.

I went to Hamilton, the elementary school I studied in, to find my mom. She was participating in an Earth Day event at that time, so my brother and I went to pick her up.

And I realized Hamilton has a new icon. I don't know how hawks are related to Hamiton though.

I went to Van Dusen Botanical Garden after my co-op ended. It was pretty interesting, but too bad the weather wasn't so good that day.

A group of visitors listened to the tour guide.

Some beautiful flowers.

And this is a new puzzle I got. hahaha

And a stupid photo I shot two days ago...

And today, I went to Kirin Resturant to celebrate Mother's Day. The design of the restaurant is really good. Excuse the bad quality of this photo. This is taken from a cellphone.